When Stability Stops Feeling Secure: Why I Swapped a Permanent Role for Contracting
Photo by SEO Galaxy on Unsplash
When people hear you’ve left a secure, well-paid job to go contracting, the first question is usually, “So, was it for the money?”
Spoiler: it wasn’t.
Why did I leave a very secure and beneficial permanent role and decide to go contracting? (And more importantly, why on earth am I sharing this?)
This would be a very short blog post if I just admitted that once I turned 40 I’d just had enough. Some people buy nice, shiny Porsches, some completely change their appearance, I, however, decided to completely re-evaluate my wants and needs (my Husband made the cut…just). I quickly realised that a big want was to be more satisfied with my career and there was something irking inside of me that, no matter how many new roles I tried, I wasn’t satisfied.
Trusting my gut
After years of steadily progressing my career I realised that uncomfortable ache in my stomach and constant feeling of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole was boiling down to my choice of, what I thought was, career stability. I questioned why it felt uncomfortable, why, when everybody else at work seemed to be getting on just fine, did I feel like I wasn’t meant to be there and then it hit me.
I wasn’t doing what I enjoyed anymore
“I’d girl-bossed so hard I forgot why I loved being a Business Analyst in the first place.”
Ever chasing the dream of rising through the permie ranks, going for the next promotion, I’d lost sight of what I actually enjoyed doing and that was Business Analysis (for those reading this who don’t know me I expect you were hoping for something a bit sexier than Business Analysis - bare with) I’d found myself no longer analysing but approving holidays and sorting out resource, I’d girl bossed so hard that I completely forgot why I was doing this career in the first place - my innate need to analyse everything and help people make great changes!!
Back to basics
Once this realisation hit I knew I needed to act on it, it was a must rather than a would, could or a should, and after looking at the aspects of the role which charged my batteries versus the aspects which drained them, I realised that breaking away from permanent work was the only way to focus on my battery chargers. I won’t bore you with the usual chat of; working out our financial situation, support from my husband etc. as we all know that these decisions aren’t made overnight but I am fortunate to be able to take the next steps. Once ready, and after a lot of “you can do this” affirmations in the mirror, I handed my notice in...and navigated three months of notice period (exactly what you need when you’ve made that big decision and are ready and raring to get going)
Fast forward to now
It’s been a few months since I made the leap, and while I haven’t landed my first contract just yet, I’ve already learned more about myself and the market than I expected. The search itself has been a crash course in resilience and self-belief, two skills every contractor needs before they even step foot on site.
What’s surprised me most is how different the contracting world feels. You’re no longer selling yourself as an employee, you’re positioning yourself as a service, someone who can step in and deliver value fast. It’s a mindset shift, one I’m embracing. Every conversation, every rejection, every application fine-tunes how I tell my story and the value I bring as a Business Analyst. Although, navigating the trials and tribulations of LinkedIn is certainly a job in itself!
So why the heck am I telling you this
Because I know I’m not the only one who’s felt that ache of misalignment, when your career looks great on paper, but something just doesn’t sit right. I’m sharing this to remind anyone else in that space that it’s okay to pause, re-evaluate and take a leap, even if the landing zone isn’t fully visible yet.
For me, contracting isn’t just about chasing day rates, it’s about chasing fulfilment, freedom and growth. And while my first contract hasn’t arrived yet, I already feel like I’ve taken back control of my career.
If future-me ever doubts this decision, I want her to remember that progress doesn’t always show up as a new job title, sometimes it’s just the quiet confidence of knowing you’re finally on the right path.
I wish the best of luck to anyone who is also feeling this pang, trust in yourself.
